Thursday, April 19, 2012

learning about yourself

I don't usually share things I write for myself, but this one has stayed rooted in my mind and I think I need to put it out there. I wrote it after spending a long weekend with one of my closest friends, acting like a tourist in my own city, going out every night, talking to strangers, laughing so much my stomach hurt days later...

- - -

Sometimes I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to knowing what I want to do in life and who I want to be. But it's just an elusive feeling; I don't really know, I can't put my finger on it, I can't tell anyone about it. It's just this incredibly abstract feeling that doesn't really amount to much more than that.

But it's better than nothing.

I know:
I love putting myself out there. I love experiencing as much as I can. I love meeting new people. I love connecting with old friends. I love not being what you expect. I love not caring what people think. I love being as goofy as possible. I love listening to music. I love dancing to music. I love singing along and pretending I sound good - or not caring that I don't. I love the tattoos I have. I love watching new ink go into my skin in designs that mean the world to me. I love devouring a book in a day. I love waking up without an alarm clock. I love having a sense of purpose. I love being covered in paint after teaching art. I love making plans to travel. I love going new places. I love trying new things. I love my old habits. I love my new habits. I love the feeling of anticipation. I love the feeling of not knowing. I love finding out. I love going to bed with a smile on my face. I love waking up with a smile on my face. I love every moment with a smile on my face.

I love this lady.

I love this song, and that Ryan always knows what music I want to hear before I do.


  1. Sometimes what you do know is the beginning to the answer of what you don't know. At least, that's what I keep telling myself when the things I don't know start closing in on me.

    1. Very true, especially in this case. Trying to take all these things I know and love and make a life out of them, instead of solving for all the things I don't know.

  2. This is awesome. It's good to know what you love :)


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