Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Big Mama's Music

It seemed necessary to buy a new iPod the other day. An iPod classic. Is there anything wrong with my Nano? No. Except that I bought it as a graduation gift for myself three years ago, and it doesn't stay charged like it used to, often shutting down on my drive home from work. Lemme tell ya, it's a horrible commute to make in silence. But that's not the real reason I wanted to upgrade. No, the real reason is waaaaay more embarrassing…

replacepod

It was a bitch to uncheck the vast majority of my music when I was limited to a 16gb Nano - such a first world problem, right? I'd buy an album and have to scroll through my entire library, unchecking old songs to make room for the new.
     Of course I'd find myself at work when a certain song would remind me of another; I'd spin my little wheel to find it, but it's not there. The remainder of the day would be spent arguing with myself "Maybe you don't even have that song." "I DO! I remember buying the CD single in 8th grade." "You probably tossed it before iTunes even existed." Clearly, a bigger iPod was crucial to my mental health.

I'm not the type of person to upgrade just because something new comes along. (See: my six-year-old Nikon dSLR, my four-year-old point and shoot camera, my three year old iMac, my two-year-old non-smart phone, my nine-year-old car, my ten-year-old t-shirt, etc.) I've spent many sleepless nights beating myself up, wondering "Why didn't I buy the biggest iPod in the first place?"

I think it was because I wanted something small, cute, and purple. Which is what I got.
paulpod

I'm not the type of person to fawn over new electronics when I get them, either. (See: not being obsessive over my new macbook, carelessly scraping paint off of my new point and shoot camera, accidentally dropping my new phone until it looks decades old.) But yesterday at work, my first full day with my new iPod, I was like a proud mother. I kept the device in my lap instead of on my desk. I swabbed it clean more times in two hours than I've done my glasses in the years I've worn them. I'm going through my CD cabinet, importing every disc to fill up Big Mama.

bigmamasync

Oh, did I not introduce you? This is Big Mama.
bigmama

Yes, it's true my named objects are usually boys (most well-known being my car, Adam "Toyota" Corolla), and, if I can swing it, they're named after mass murderers (my previous iPod, PaulPod - say it quickly). But as I opened the box containing my new treasure, I whispered "Come on, Big Mama." It made me laugh, and then it stuck.

As for the iPod's "tattoo": I debated getting the same quote as above etched on my new iPod, since it's one of my favorite scenes from my favorite Simpsons episode. Then I thought of how lame it would be to keep getting the same quote on things, regardless of how fitting it is and how much it makes me smile. So I bravely branched out:
mamamix
(an incredibly appropriate and backhandedly witty line from a Butch Walker song)

25 comments:

  1. Big Mama is gorgeous. I've had the same Dell laptop for 10 years. So, yeah, I'm no stranger to holding on to technology for no good reason.

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    1. Thank you for calling her by name - it made both of us smile. My Dell laptops lasted about 4 yrs each, which was fairly impressive, but they knew when midterms and finals were, and crashed EACH. SEMESTER. Killed me. So I'm never getting another Dell. But otherwise I love sticking with the same thing forever and ever amen.

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  2. This is awesome. I love your naming convention :) I tend to name my electronics after made-up gods from fantasy novels. It makes me laugh.

    I too upgraded to a classic a few months ago. But prior to that, I'd only had an old-school shuffle that I got free when I opened a bank account. I mean, it was the stick on a necklace that you could plug straight into any USB port. But it got old and couldn't hold power, and *I wanted a screen and a scrolly wheel!*

    heh. first world problems indeed.

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    1. I love naming things, period! It's so much fun to pick out the right name that fits an inanimate object's "personality."

      I don't think I even knew they made shuffles like that! My iPod 3 yrs ago was my first experience with them. My brother got one of the 1st generation Nanos (I think) when it was new and I always said I'd NEVER get one. Then I bought one and he laughed and laughed. It would be funnier if he laughed all the way to your bank and got a free iPod shuffle.

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  3. That's awesome. I want one.

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  4. I choose which iPod I get based on how many points I have at Dave & Busters.

    We're going to work on this smart phone thing. Right...?

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    1. You get iPods at Dave & Busters?! All I ever got was a rubber bracelet with lightning bolts on it.

      Suuuuure we are...

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    2. That's how I roll. Though their prize room isn't what it used to be. I DID get a quesadilla press last time I was there...

      Thought so. Ankle boots and smart phones.

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    3. What do you play to get that many tickets? Skeeball don't pay out like that!

      Ankle boots, yes. I will try those. Smart phone...perhaps. Can't change too much at once. Which would you rather me have - heels or technology?

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    4. You know the game where you have to drop the coin to push the coins over the edge? I am the all time champ at that game. I just got upgraded from a Gold member to VIP. Not joking. Professional status.

      Heels. Definitely.

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  5. Oh my GOD I LOVE THE CLASSIC. It holds so much stuff. When I had a classic, I hacked it so that it could be a top secret spy-drive in addition to a music super-center. It was amazing.

    Big Mama is such an appropriate name for this beast. I hope it uses the voice of that actress who played the receptionist in Scrubs.

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    1. A friend was telling me about hacking it, but I'll be honest - I'm a little scared of ruining everything. Maybe when she's older.

      GET OUT OF MY HEAD. She is totally Laverne.

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  6. I read blog. I enjoy. I name stuff too. If you care about it, you have to name it. Name every car, shoes, fav shirt. Even named both by sons. I have a Big Betty ipod, she broke like your nano. What's your fix for that?

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    1. I shall call you Barnaby Wallace.

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    2. I wanted to make it known that I was expressing my comedic side. I don't typically speak or type in such a manner. I do find this blog quite enjoyable and look forward to it so. Til we meet again in the comment box or BBQ beer tent.. cheers!

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    3. I'd like to take this opportunity to use Barnaby here as an example - THERE IS NO JUDGING ON THIS BLOG. Trust me, I am the last person who will ever judge someone for, say... naming their shoes. There is no need to apologize for any comment, ever, when it has made me laugh that hard. Amen.

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  7. Laughing at me, not with me. Makes me not want a shot anymore... or maybe several shots. I'm just going to give you 22 pts and see where it gets me. I need to delete one of those comments now, but which one

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    1. Laughing at you with my horrible, grating laugh - the stuff of nightmares!

      Don't you dare arbitrarily give me points! I demand a legitimate score.

      Don't you dare delete a comment! They are funny and you are funny and they get emailed to me, so if you delete one I will just repost it as "Barnaby Wallace says:"

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    2. My G+ was hacked, who is this. Hope it didnt send any embarassing pics. 32 pts... what kind of prize does that get. I give up, you wine... always do.

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    3. Just some baseball player's O face. I don't wine, I beer and YOU KNOW IT.

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  8. I am so jealous! My ipod crapped out a few months ago, just shut off one day, never to come back on again. I really need a new one, badly! For now I have some piece of crap RCA thing that only holds like 4GB of stuff. Big Mama is such an appropriate name for her too!

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    1. Wow I can't imagine you functioning without an ipod! Hope you get one soon, but I guess 4g is better than silence!

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